The Dance Of Tides

Got the job!!!Got the job.!!!Got the job!!!Got the job!!!

Can’t talk about it much (don’t want to jinx it), but it feels like one of those moments when things are all starting to fall into place. I hear life switching back on, wheels rotating in the opposite direction, the breaking off of rust.

I think there’s a finite amount of happiness in the world, there’s just so much to go around. When one person's blissful, someone else out there is miserable, waiting his or her turn. On my humble planet, the secret to a good life is not money or fame, or even heart-stopping love, it's learning to dance the tides: not get too sad when things go south, and remember that when life's in bright vivid colors, it’s all momentary. There’s a saying I heard from someone, it comes from ancient Arabic, “All but a river must come to an end.” A romantic idea I admit, but I like it.

My mother used to tell me there’s no such thing as "being happy," that if you touch happiness, even briefly, you should consider yourself a lucky person.

I can think of only one moment, one minute, when life was perfect, euphoric. I was dating a man that made me smile, careerwise things couldn't have been better, and I was, for the first time, living in place that felt like home. I remember one morning walking the block from his car to my office. I was late, but I stopped dead in my tracks. Breathe in, record this moment. It might never come again.

Two months later, a date that never ended, brunch that was never touched. No kiss goodbye. No phone calls. No drama. Just a plate full of heartache.

Black, back to gray, then shades of gray. Now color.

Comments

[clark]

well, CONGRADULATIONS mr gray !!!
a friend of mine once told me (someone you know as well) that instead of looking and waiting for that "prince" to arrive, and take you away on his big white horse to that castle: why not BE that "prince" INSTEAD ?
it seems your 'castle' is already built (w/ a perfect roommate as well) your 'court' is loyal (fans of your blog) and now your new 'kingdom' to rule! (your new job)... as one of your 'virgin-maids-in-waiting,' i hope that you go far and have continued succeess upon your new 'throne,' and please dont stop spreading the much needed happiness across this 'land' (the internet)
:)
oh, and lets not forget that big white 'horse' (hung): mr chad hunt !
:0

[Roy]

What a beautiful way to end this entry...quite poetic...Congrats on the job! You deserve it! You work hard, you're smart...and I'm sure you'll be fantastic at the new job! Good luck!! So, how you gonna celebrate?

[Ethan Gray]

clark, you're hysterical. Thanks guys. Very sweet.

[Dray]

Finding that balance in life is the challenge. I call it the ebb and flow of the ocean of life. Enjoy the tide flow and ride that wave of happiness. Things are looking up for me too.

[Chad Hunt]

I may not ride a white horse but I am white and "Horse Hung", does that count. And Clark is so my new best friend ... Yes, Ethan let's not forget about poor ol' Chad who hasn't quite given up yet. Have fun this week on your travels home and I'll look forward to seeing you upon your return. "Shall I sit and pine away the moments while my love has gone away. No, not I, I shall contemplate the happiness I shall feel on his returning day." Do not worry my love for I shall not wander, nor go astray. My weakness for you burns inside my heart like a beaming sunlight ray." (I just made that up ... tacky isn't it)

[Chad Hunt]

Oh, and no one is more happy for you then me that you found a job here in the city. I was quite distraught that you may have been leaving to that other unmentionable place ... Things always have a way of working out just when you least expect them to.

[Roy]

actually chad, it's really pretty what you wrote!

[george]

did your mother actually tell you that there is no such thing as happiness? that seems so...cruel? sick?.....oh well.

[Derrick]

Ok, so i actually just stumbled across this blog while doing the click n' go of checking blogs recommended by blogs and i wanted to say congrats to you. i'm currently waiting on my "white horse" to come as well. wait, that doesn't make any sense. oh...um...well, ok i want a new job too! there, that's better. and hope it works out with the guy that got you the flowers. and the new pics are cool. i dig them.

and Chad, that poetry was so awesome!

[ethan]

no, ahe said there's no such thing as "being happy" meaning happiness is not a constant thing. it comes and goes and if you've experienced even shortly, well then, you should condiser yourself a happy guy.