Went to the gym after a short two-week hiatus. Hot guys with hard dicks cruising me in the shower on their way to the steam-room, but all I could think was “Who the hell can enjoy a blow job at 100-degree temperature while grandpa’s three feet away stroking his wrinkled dick? Not a prude but if I’m going to have casual sex, I’d rather do it in the comfort of my bed, with air-conditioning and without an audience.
Not that it matters, I think something’s wrong with my libido, it’s broken. Dates with beautiful men all ending with a kiss and a smile. At 33, body’s still tight, but the mind’s going soft. You know something’s wrong when you look at a cute guy and the first thought that comes to mind is, “I just changed my sheets last night, took me 20 minutes. Do I really want to go through that again? Is he sheet-worthy?”
Last night, a guy for whom I’d change my name. He was outside the bar smoking a cigarette, eyes blue, dark hair, and legs that would look perfect around my ears. I casually positioned myself next to him. Two men smoking. I kept looking, waiting for a sign, a clue to move in.
Half a smile. Was that a nod? Good enuogh.
His name was Kevin. That’s it. That’s all I remember. We talked for a good 15 minutes and nothing. Blank. My mind was somewhere else – my knees. I was so nervous, the whole time kept looking to the side, trying to hide the fact that my legs were shaking, like a cold Chihuahua.
A hand reaching into his pocket. A blue light illuminating his face as he stored my number. That voice again telling me to go home.
A kiss on his cheek, a promise to call, a look in his eyes, no need to say it, I know what he’s thinking, “Are you sure you don’t want to hang out tonight?”
I’m sure. Not tonight. Five years ago we’d be drowning in a sea of covers by now. Five years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about spending 20 minutes making my bed. Now, I need to know.
Kevin, are you sheetworthy?
*SEEKING EMPLOYMENT*
GAM, single, exceptional with domestic chores: especially laundry and making beds w/ perfectly tucked "hospital corners" from years of experience with family (chinese) owned laundromat...
also good with orginizing and transfering illegible phone numbers from crumpled pieces of paper...
will work for just the experience of being around a "highly-desirable-maturing-sex-god"...
also skilled at selling things on e-bay, specialty: used-sheets, addresses and phone numbers...
Posted by: clark | August 15, 2005 at 07:06 AM
Sheet-worthy! I love that! I am sooooo gonna have to remember that! However, nowadays, I think, "Are they worth a spot in my cell phone"? Because I have put SOOO many numbers in mine, that I just eventually delete them, because I forget who they are!
Posted by: Roy | August 15, 2005 at 12:28 PM
He will be making a big mistake if he decides not to use that number is all I can say. Good Luck. I hope it works out for ya.
Posted by: Chad Hunt | August 16, 2005 at 12:04 AM
it does make a lot of sense... =D
but hey, he was worth 15 minutes, if nothing else!
Posted by: L | August 16, 2005 at 11:58 PM
You know what... I love your writing style... I felt like I was with you...
I can so relate to wondering if people are sheetworthy, great observation...
Posted by: rocka | August 17, 2005 at 10:13 PM