Got an e-mail from Daniel, his ex-boyfriend’s twin brother Luke is in town. Would I like to meet him?
I’ve gone on blind dates before, always a disaster. Last time it was so bad, kept looking for someone to pop out of a box and say, “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.” After that, I promised to never, ever put myself through that again.
“He went to Harvard, was on the crew team,” Daniel kept saying.
“That’s great but…”
“He’s really hot.”
“I don’t know man, you’re taste, I’ve seen how you dress.”
Then a link to a picture.
“So, what time did you say we were meeting?”
By the time I crossed town I was already having second thoughts. I take a deep breath, then walk into the restaurant where Daniel, Luke and a few other friends were eating dinner. To my surprise, Luke was everything Daniel said he was. Tall, dark hair, big blue eyes, white smile. I’ll be damned.
He seemed nice, charming. We talked about his life back west, his family.
“So, did you ever do it?”
“What? With my brother?”
I’ve heard of gay twins exploring together, each other. What can I say? Hot.
“Not really.”
“Not really? That means sort of, which really means yes?”
“I can’t talk about it, makes my stomach churn just thinking about it.”
“That’s funny, I’m having a totally different reaction myself.”
“We fooled around. Once.”
By the end of the dinner, Luke’s thick leg was touching my knee under the table. I can see myself getting naked with him. I’m starting to think maybe this whole thing wasn’t such a bad idea.
“Excuse me,” I tell him. “I’ll be right back.”
I head out for a quick cigarette break, as I stand outside the bar a hot guy, walking by.
The quick flash of white teeth, a beautiful smile, a cautious step back, then another.
“Hi, my name's Brandon."
“Ethan.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Scruff on his face, the greenest eyes, his hands, warm.
“What are you up to?”
“With some friends over there,” I point to the bar.
“Going anywhere later?”
“We might be heading to Urge.”
“Oh yeah? Maybe I’ll check it out.”
Brandon takes my number, then walks away. I go back to the bar, the voices at the table, and Luke, who seems happy to see me.
A few drinks later, we bar hop. On the way, I check out Luke’s ass as he walks in front of me. Nice, round, full. He’s taller than I thought. I like tall. He puts his arm around me, touches the small of my back, then gently grabs my butt.
We get to the bar and order a drink. It’s a good night in New York City. Naked go-go boys, cute guys, I’m having a good time, not a care in the world. Then I see him, from the corner of my eye, Brandon. Didn’t think that one through. Perhaps telling him I would be here wasn’t the smartest move.
I try to avoid him but he finds me on my way to the bathroom, says hello. I should have told him right then and there that I was with someone, but he’s so beautiful, I don’t want to scare him off. Besides Luke’s from L.A., tagged as a one-night stand only.
So I do what any greedy New Yorker would do. I spend the next hour running between the two, chatting a few minutes with one before returning to the other. They’re at opposite ends of the bar, so it’s doable albeit exhausting.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell them both, an apologetic look on my face, “small bladder.”
This goes on for while. Boy juggling, back and forth. Then it hits me: Luke is only here for the weekend, Brandon lives here. Have sex with Luke tonight, go on a date with Brandon next week. Simple, easy, I can have my cock and eat it too.
“Listen I’m sorry,” I finally tell Brandon. “But I’m with friends and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get away, I don’t want to be rude.”
“That’s cool. I’m actually about to leave, why don’t we get together next week, catch a movie or dinner?”
“Sounds great.”
I take a deep breath. “Now,” I think to myself, “I can sit, relax, enjoy the rest of the evening.” I go back to Luke (everyone else in had already retired). But Luke is nowhere to be found. I check the restrooms, the back area, outside. Not a trace.
“Did you see a really good looking guy, tall, dark hair?” I ask the bouncer.
“Yeah, I think he just got into a cab and left.”
Maybe he saw me talking to Brandon, or maybe he just got tired of my disappearing ass. The motherfucker left without so much as saying good night. I get annoyed for a second, almost indignant, then start laughing. Bitch-slapped by Aphrodite. That’s what happens when you get too cocky. At the end of the night you end up alone, with nothing but Sean Cody to keep you company.
If I was with you that night, you wouldn't have the nerve to leave my side. ;)
Posted by: Toby | November 28, 2005 at 12:18 PM
you greedy greedy little boy! that's what happens....sad to say! But at least you have Brandon's number!!!!!
Posted by: Roy | November 28, 2005 at 01:04 PM
"One cannot decide that he or she wishes to be in a relationship, and then go around looking for someone to be in a relationship with. One must find a person they like enough to want to be in a relationship with that person specifically. Then and only then will the relationship work."
Posted by: Lance | November 28, 2005 at 09:32 PM
haha that's a funny story. i did that once, but not at the same time. i "double-booked" as they say with dates. actually, it was like triple booking cuz i had three in the same night. it was a mess. i wasn't being greedy with them, i just was dumb enough to accept three dates for the same night. between finding excuses to cut the date short, inhaling three dinners with my stomach full after the first one, and getting so drunk by the the third one, i had definately learned my lesson, too.
...and like you, i was just beginning to date again after a bad breakup. *shrugs*
Posted by: Bobby Alexander | November 28, 2005 at 09:52 PM
The refrain in that old song goes like this "love the one I'm with",
this is a lifestyle you should try to emulate. Your approach makes great copy but...
Posted by: Martin Smith | November 29, 2005 at 02:43 AM
feel u men when single this stuf happens and the worst is when u meet to intereted cute guys on the same night i does suck
Posted by: pette | November 29, 2005 at 11:15 AM
GOSH ethan,
as a fellow new yorker, i feel that i can totally relate to your experience! when i am home at night (alone) watching the telly (esp. fridays & saturdays) and find more than one program that i want to watch, ill switch from one to the other and miss out on all the good parts, finally finding myself not satisfied or entertained in the end at all....
ps - im kinda tall and dark.. and i have a big pair of blue...balls ...wanna try going out with me sometime ?
Posted by: clark | November 30, 2005 at 10:12 AM
at least brandon and luke didn't run out of the bar together... i was actually expecting you to say that.
it's been a while i haven't checked your blog so had a lot to read. it amazes me how wonderfully written they are.
glad you are over your blue phase.
big kiss.
Posted by: *F | November 30, 2005 at 02:29 PM
I have to agree with Roy. Stop behaving like a 5 year old and be honest with yourself. Everything I've read on this blog definitely points to you not actually wanting a relationship, just the rosy idea of a relationship. Real relationships are difficult, between the constant compromise that allows you to function as a couple to the pull from society that says gay men aren't supposed to have substantive relationships. Either be blunt with yourself and realize you aren't meant for it (some people aren't) or change your behaviour. Yes, you can change your behaviour, I did much of the same sorts of things in the past-sleeping with more guys in a week than I have fingers, but I managed to stop all of that and have been happily monogamous for nearly 5 years now and with no end in sight (and the sex is better than I'd ever thought possible ;) ).
Posted by: diabolix | November 30, 2005 at 05:03 PM
I have no judgements on you wanting to have two good things at once, ,, we always want it 'all',, but don't let something close slip by for something further away ... long distance sucks eggs,, but even with my experiences of long distance,, I would do it again for the 'one'.. silly me.
Posted by: William Scott | December 01, 2005 at 06:31 AM
this story made me laugh so hard that i copied and posted it over on my blog, with full credit and link to you... I've done this myself (ok, double booked, not the meet-another-hadsome-stranger bit) and maybe why thats why it made me laugh so hard. Bird in the hand baby...
Posted by: Buzz | December 09, 2005 at 03:48 PM
Haha... You and I need to hang out sometime. Seems like we go through the same shit. Happened to me before I started going out with my newly-exed-ex (we broke up last night). The night I met him, I was on a quasi-date. One was upstairs, the other downstairs... I ended up fucking up both, but luckily Michael (the newly exed-ex) was still into me and we dated for seven weeks. Oh well.
Posted by: Mr. Secret | December 14, 2005 at 08:48 PM