The Old Man and the Train

On the last day of the last month of the last year, he’ll still be there, waiting. Waiting for the train to arrive.

He’s been waiting a long time, for as long as he can remember. Hope keeps him on that platform. Hope and the destination. He’s taken the train only twice in his life. Twice he got off at the wrong stop.

Now he wonders whether that train will ever come again. And if it does, will it stop long enough for him to get on board? Will the conductor accept his ticket?

For the hundredth time he pulls the ticket out of his pocket, as if to make sure it’s still there. He laughs. Where else would it be? He opens his hand, looks at it. It’s old and yellow, falling apart. He can barely read what it says.

Is it coming? Will it ever come? He’s not sure. He’s not even sure the train stops at this old dilapidated town anymore. He looks at the sign. It’s crooked, some letters are missing. More than a few lights along the track are broken. No one’s bothered to fix them in years. No, he’s not sure the train will ever come again.

He could go home, rest, enjoy whatever’s left of his life. But he can’t. He’s waiting. He’ll be waiting until the last day of the last month of the last year.
“I am old,” says the man to himself, “but I can still stand, and I can still sit. And as long as I can do both, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

He’s tired. Time has left its painful mark on his face, his skin, his bones. But his mind is still sharp. He can still remember the sound of the whistle, the whoosh of the train cars as they go by, the smell of old leather, of burning coal.

There is no better sound, no better smell, no better feeling than being on that train. He’s only been on it twice, but for those few moments he felt alive. And so he’ll wait, and wait and wait. He’ll wait because life is not worth living outside this platform, away from the station. Life is not worth living without the hope of someday getting on that train. And so he’ll wait. He’ll be waiting until the last day of the last month of the last year. He’ll die waiting.

Comments

[Nicolo]

EEEETHAN, you're gonna make me cry!!!!

Also, you are not old!

[cockoholick]

so sad. so true.

i'm crying too.

[ray]

Such a brilliant metaphor for waiting for love.

[Simon]

“Fools hurry.
Clever ones wait.
But wise ones walk in the garden." (Buddhistic phrase)
Don't you find much nicer places in your life than a railway platform? :-)

[Patrick]

Oh for fuck sake get over yourself...

[Christopher]

Guess those other two trains weren't long enough for you, Ethan. You're such a size queen.

[Yeti]

Trains crash sometimes, y'know. Accidents happen for many reasons - obstacles in the track, malfunctions in the train. At least you avoid that risk. Play it safe.

Yeah right. Who am I kidding?

[clark]

uhm, perhaps the old man should have brought a book to read, or some paper to write his feelings down on...and maybe he could have helped others by picking up pieces of trash on the platform or chatted with the others that waited with him to help pass the time better...but he definitely should have been reflecting on all the happy times that he had once enjoyed in his youth during those painful waits, cause that might have reminded him that he has had it better than someone that might be paralized, deaf, blind... or all three...

[Zander]

always moving...hopeful & classy. Thanks!

[diabolix]

Go back to writing about your life as it was more interesting, this was much more boring and cliché than poetic.

[richard]

Self pity is a most unattractive quality.

[wigetz]

I had to drop a comment, after reading the rather harsh ones posted...I've enjoyed popping in now and then to read your posts because I appreciate how much you share with the strangers that drop by...you've opened yourself up, and in turn, made yourself vulnerable to some pretty mean remarks. But continue onwards...and that takes guts in my book. So, post whatever you want...there are some out there who want to read it all.

[richwhiteboy]

I prefer this, when it comes to public transportation metaphors (not that yours is bad):

Clang clang clang went the trolley!

Bang bang bang went the bell!

(and so forth...Judy on speed hopped on on dope and in love with her gay director and then she flings her hands in the air, turns her big cow-brown eyes toward the camera and belts out:)

TO THE END OF THE LINE!

It's the best metaphor for endless love of all time.

Have you watched "L'Avventura" lately? It's about searching and waiting and wanting. And falling in love along the way.

Of course, it's boring as hell, but I would sit down and watch it with someone like you.

[Paul]

The train will come. Hopefully for all of us. Have faith!

paul

[jayandkay]

Happy Valentine's Day to you Ethan!

http://istanbulcasual.typepad.com/casual_in_istanbul/2006/02/ken_is_back_and.html#comments

[shawn]

Hey man nice blog u got here. Could u do me a big favor, i need your help, and got read my latest post, vote, and then pass it on....Thanks ;)

[GayCanadianXpartBoy]

Hey You...
I have used similar posts in my blog, a train a road....po poo on them who don't like your posts...Its not about them anyway! Its about you....you let them in and if they don't like screw of I say...who cares what they think its not about them its all about you! baby!
Hugzzz
keep it up, I totaly relate to this post in my owne way!....

[Dan]

It's St. Valentine's Day now. Are you tying a noose to hang yourself, or just having more casual and meaningless sex?

[Mr. Secret]

This reminds me of the old guy in the movie "Ghost World", always waiting at a stop whose bus has changed its route and doesn't go that way anymore... But day in and day out, he's out there, waiting waiting waiting...

Eventually, the bus does come... but I won't ruin the metaphor... Ya gotta see the movie!

[JWH]

You're too busy waiting for the next F(uck) train and every knows that stopping at every station will keep you from ever arriving at your destination. You'd be better off waiting on another platform -- for the L(ove) train, perhaps.

[Keiko]

It had the potential to be "heart-rendering", but you focused too much on cliches and theatrics; attempting too much to make the responder cry rather than telling the story. In effect it became superficial emotional drivel, rather than a possibly compelling piece. Yet the metaphor of waiting for love was very clever. And it does have it's redeeming qualities. Good luck in the future.

[MT]

I thought it was great. I think you're either going to get or you're going to dismiss it. I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but Madonna lyrics do the same thing for me. Before you laugh, has anyone every really listened to the words to Don't Tell Me? Or Jump? Or Skin?

[steve]

While I'm all for waiting on the platform for the train, I believe you can have a good life off the platform. If you have a rich inner life, inspirations, and like(love) yourself you can go it alone, and maybe even then be more attractive to others because they know you are strong with or without them.

[Marc]

Hi Ethan, why don't you write anymore? No hotspot on your platform, or did the train arrive at last?

[midnight lounge]

...silence?