Giovanni's Room

“Three questions, if you answer them I’ll date you,” he says as we’re having dinner.

“Three questions?”

“Yep. You’ve got to be able to answer them if you want to go any farther, or is further?”

“Further. Shoot.”

“Who is Maggie Smith?”

“An Actress. Tea with Mussolini.”

“Good. That’s one, though you would’ve gotten an extra point had you said A Room with a View."

“Why?”

“Because it’s my favorite movie. Next, who’s James Baldwin?”

“Author. Giovanni’s Room, Another Country.”

“Very good, and you get extra credit for mentioning Giovanni.”

“Why?”

“It’s my favorite book.”

"What’s the third question?”

“How old are you?”

“34.”

“So sorry. But two out of three ain’t bad.”

“What’s wrong with 34?”

“Too young. But you’re smart. I like that.”

I smile. We’re at a restaurant, Jim and I. I’ve known him a long time. Two friends having dinner.

“Have you ever read Giovanni’s Room?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

I get lost for a moment, sidetracked by my own thoughts, then return to Jim.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing." I tell him. "It's just that I haven’t thought about that book in a long, long time.”

“A story?”

Jim loves my stories. I indulge him.

I’d known Seth a couple of months when his birthday came around. Was already head over heals, could barely see straight. I had no idea what hit me, hooked.

He was the first, the one to whom all future boys would be compared to.

For weeks all I could think of was finding him the perfect gift. An obsessive never before felt need to surprise him with that one thing that would set me apart from all other guys. Show him beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one will ever know him the way I did.

At that moment I would have picked not only the stars out of the sky for him, but also the sun and the moon and the space between.

Problem is, didn't know him at all. Had no idea what he liked, what made him tic. I replayed every conversation we had, thought of all the things he'd said to me alone at night. Was looking for clues into his soul, but all I could see was my panic. Weeks went by. I had nothing.

The big day was getting close and I was nowhere near finding him a gift. Finally I had to make a decision, settle on something, anything. It wasn’t as romantic as I’d hoped but at least it was something he’d appreciate. I knew he liked music. An amateur DJ, he spent hours in front of his turntables, eyes closed, head tilted to one side, lost in a neverending mix of beats inside his mind.

He was still accumulating his record collection. At least once a week he’d go shopping for music, a tedious and time-consuming affair that involved hopping from store to store, flipping through a sea of vinyl, most of which he couldn’t afford.

Usually when he'd ask me to join him, the answer would shoot out of my mouth, “I’d rather chew glass.” Now I was tagging along making mental notes every time he looked at an album.

Then, just as I compiled my list, his best friend took him shopping for his birthday and got him all the titles I’d spent three weeks researching. Forty-eight hours before the big day.

Two days. No time. No money. No idea what to get. I talked to his friends, chatted up his roommate, called his sister. I tried anything I could think of, anything that would help me figure out what makes this kid smile. I was just about to lose hope when I remembered. His favorite book. Giovanni’s Room. A film student, his dream was to make it into a movie.

This was my way in. A first edition copy of his most cherished read, published in 1956. Problem is e-Bay didn’t have it. Neither did the 20 bookstores I called. None had seen a copy in years, some actually laughed at me. The one place that did have it was selling it for $700. Interestingly all other first edition books by Mr. Baldwin were considerably cheaper, as low as $70. I thought of buying another title, but somehow I knew it wouldn’t have the same effect. Then someone suggested I called this one guy, a “book specialist.”

“He’s a pro,” said my friend. “Can find anything.”

24 hours to find the perfect gift.

“Hello?”

“Yeah hi, I was told you find rare books.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m looking for Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin.”

“Dude, that’s a tough one, usually pretty expensive.”

“I've got about $300.”

“Let me see what I can do for you, hold on.”

The click of a mouse, fingers tickling a keyboard, a deep breath.

“I’ll be damned.”

“What?”

“It’s your lucky day, kid. I found you a copy in Canada of all places. You’d have to ship it, but it’s only $165.”

The book arrived the next day, just in time to wrap it up and run it over to Seth’s. I handed him my gift, excited, like a kid on Mother’s Day. Then watched, as his face began changing expressions from grateful, to confused finally landing on shocked.

Gasp. The drop of a coin. He knows. This is no ordinary copy.

“This isn’t…?” He said, unable to finish the sentence.

“It is.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

Then the moment that will come to mind each time that book is mentioned. A tear, first small, then overflowing, spilling onto his cheek, slowly finding its way down his face leaving behind a shiny trail of wetness. It’s a moment of realization: a man who can cry over a book is a man worth keeping.

I finish my story, look up at Jim. I can tell he’s trying not to cry but his eyes are dancing with emotion.

“Wow,” he says, his voice cracking.

"Yeah, well, about six months later my birthday came around. Seth had handed me his gift. He had this smile on his face, the same smile I had when I gave him the book. I carefully opened my present. Then I saw it. Inside was a baby blue Banana Republic button-down shirt and two ties. Should have dropped his skinny ass right then and there."

Comments

[Bobby Alexander]

So good to have you back Ethan. You were missed. :-)

[rocka]

Damn, reading this makes me fall in love with you... please write Ethan's Room... lol

[Johnny Diaz]

Bravo! Welcome back, chico! This was worth the wait! :)

[C'est Moi]

Oh no. I think my favorite moments in your blog are when you talk about Seth.

They are also the most painful. They always remind me of MY first love- Mathieu.

Etahn, what's with wanting everything you can't have, and never having anything you want?

xx,
Moi

[Berg]

Back and better than ever.

[Murray]

Can you just write more often? You know people linger about waiting for the next entry.

By "people", I mean "me", of course.

[clark]

SO glad that you are back to bring some laughter (and pain) into my mornings ...and throughout my days ...
always feels good to know the we share something in common w/ our love/relationship/experiences ...
xooxoox

[darling daintyfoot]

ahh so beautiful is giovanni's room...one of those books you buy up all the copies you can and give them to anyone who means anything to you and has never read it.

[Toby]

What's a book?

[kim]

At least he'll never forget you when ever he sees that book.

I'm sure he goes back to that day in his head every single time.

Unless he burned it !

Great story. HRH♦P.K.

[ryan]

nice story, I like the ending haha.

[Anono.Blogger]

I just bought the book and am set to read, thanks for the recommendation :-)

Glad to read you again.

A.B.

[clark]

i just bought TWO copies yesterday and gave one to the boy that i just started dating out here in san francisco, so that he can read it on his flight to nyc this weekend...i also got a copy of "room w/ a view" to read while hes away...if things work out for us because he was impressed by the book, i will owe you one !!
he is already falling in love w/ my cooking skills, which i learned all from joe ...

[r*yan]

sublime. well done.

[Fabio]

Great to have you back! And what a great story, deftly written as usual.

[Lace]

It's nice to finally have internet again, to catch up with you. :):)

Anyway, the major point of this comment is to let you know that Chantilly Lace had to be deleted due to some very, very unfortunate circumstances. Instead, check out http://chocolatblanc.blogspot.com . Same me, new name. :)

Glad to be able to keep up with you again. I missed your writing.

[Daniel]

What a story teller you are. Beautiful.

[papermooner]

Awoke at 3 am and got lost in your blog, which i found by mistake. maybe there are no mistakes. thanks.

[Wian]

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
You are going to make me late for work.

[pliesius]

Immaculate story.. I loved it.
Greetings from Lithuania :)

[Ángel Manuel]

my god... i have been reading quite a long of your stories... i'm impressed that at last I feel like I'm been understood, that I'm not the only one in this world that sees things deeper than what normally people do... anyway, i'm the one now who have that deep sense of vacumm in his heart, like when you feel so realized because something of you is no longer part of you, but has been pass to be part of everyone... I loved it!

[lonely aphlaton]

woooow man
r u a famous novelist or somthin ?
I love ur writing style

:)

& I'm absolutly goin 2 read giovanni's room ;)