Foolish Serenade

"Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore."

He sings to me. Messages on my voicemail. Out of the blue, out of tune, completely out of his mind. Cheesy electronic love notes that would scare the shit out of me if they weren't so goddamn funny.

It's been almost two months since that night, his question, his beautiful body. And though I know nothing can come out of this, I let him in, just a little more. Can't help it, I like him.

"This is you," he tells me after the chorus is over. "You, trying to act all cool around me when we met."

I laugh. If he only knew.

A week later, another serenade. Always recorded, never live.

"I'm driving up to my parents home," he says. "I heard this song and I thought of you."

Smile.

"Now keep in mind the guy in the song is saying one thing, but it's the opposite that's true."

Music starts playing in the background, I hear him clearing his throat. His voice, horrible, like a dog barking.

"Every time I think of you..."

Straining, clawing his way up to an impossibly high note.

"I always catch my breath..."

This is on the borderline between cute and creepy.

"And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away..."

Definitely cute.

"... and I'm wondering why you left?"

I smile. This is so silly. And yet strangely romantic.

"I ain't missing you at all. Pause. Missing you. Pause. Since you've been gone, pause... away. I ain't missing you. Pause. Missing you. Pause. No matter what my friends say."

He goes on a couple of more stanzas, which makes it all the funnier. How does he do it? Get away with that? Interesting. Things that usually freak us out are completely acceptable, even endearing when it comes from someone we like.

A week later, as I'm heading out to work, another message. This time no introduction's needed. It's Mariah.

"I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love you so..."

Quick, high pitch, outright awful.

"I should have held on tight I never should have let you go..."

I burst out laughing. People all around me at Starbucks give me a funny look.

"When you left I lost a part of me..."

This kid's weird. Funny, but weird.

"It’s still so hard to believe...Come back baby please 'cause we belong together."

Then he stops. Music ends abruptly.

"Hey Ethan," He says into my voicemail. "Don't blow it!"

Comments

[Sahil]

Marry him!

[Jesse]

Ethan I would marry both of you at this point. He's defenitly a keeper. Best wishes to you both. And by the way....have you read "The History of LOve"? Buy it now!

[Peter]

Goodness. Marry him? I would say...wait. Ah, what would the world do without the cynical human beings :D Yeah, even though you know this is not going anywhere, he's still worth the journey, whatever the final destination will be like. But that's just what I think :P

[istanbulcasual]

Leave a message on his voicemail and sing Depeche Mode's "I Want You Now";)

[Ash]

Awwww.... god, I wish I were you right now. I wish I was him right now. Ditto Jesse. I wish I was both of you right now! Daymn. Marry him you foolish heart.

[Paul]

That has to be the most romantic thing ever! Snap him up quick!!

Paul

[Bobby Alexander]

Awwww

when I first met my bf, I was so shy around him and concerning him. I had so many words I wanted to say to him, but I just couldn't. So, I'd call him up and whether he answered or not, I'd just start singing Kylie Minogue's "Love at First Sight" to him. At all times of the day, it'd be like "Hello" and then "baaabyyyy when I saw you..."

and yes, he'd be holding in his laughter as well.

[Alex]

This guy sounds totally sweet, and rightly so, totally smitten. You are a great writer; I’m always so stoked when I see a new post.

I read a book that I read about on here, If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things, and it was great - thanks for the rec. I have one back for you: Seven Types of Ambiguity by Elliot Pearlman. It's excellent.

A

[ethan]

Thanks man, I'll check it out.

[Roy]

That's great!

[Jon Cox]

AWESOME POST!!! I love your layout!

[Jesse]

I love this damn blog. You better be working on a book.

[miguel_filipino]

...ok, u've not posted for a long time..that's ok..as long as you are having a good loving fun time with this guy already.

He's right...dont blow it

I wish I had a guy like that doing the same thing for me too :(

[Cliff]

One guy I dated before, and I only dated because 1. he was cute and 2. Once he called and left a voice message in a song, with kinda like a telegram song rhythm to it: Hi... Just wondering.. How you're doing.. And you're not in.. I guess I'll call back later.. Talk.. to.. you.. soon! It was so funny and romantic.

[broken]

sweet sweet memories, i had a guy steal my heart just like that. Amazingly sweet, romantic made me feel amazing and then he left with my heart. dont' drop your guard too easy but enjoy the ride. question > is it truly better to have loved, than to never have loved at all?