It's one of life's little secrets. When confronted with an uncomfortable question don't get bent all out of shape. Instead, pause, smile, then deflect it with another question. Works every time.
"Are you hung?"
Pause, smile.
"Why? Are you a size-queen?"
Then watch them squirm as they try to backtrack.
"Um... No! Of course not... I was just, you know... Kidding around."
Last night at the gym, a former trick. A question. One hundred ways to never answer.
"So is it true?"
"Is what true?"
"I heard you have a secret blog."
"You did?"
"That's what everyone says, but no one knows if it actually exists or if it's just an urban myth."
Smile. Pause.
"Who's everybody?"
"I don't remember. Everybody. I hear you rate all your dates, give them a review."
"Is that right?"
"Well do you?"
"Nope, but it sounds fascinating."
I didn't lie. I don't rate them and I hardly ever give a review. Per se.
"I heard that you really go into details. That you have like hundreds of hits a week. You can tell me, is it true?"
"No."
It's not hundreds. More like thousands.
"Come on. Tell me!"
"Tell you what?"
"Just say yes or no?"
"Yes or no?"
"That means you do have a blog."
"It does?"
"I hate you."
"No you don't."
"No, I don't."
"So how did I rate? What was my review like?"
"So is this what this is all about? You want to know how good you are in bed?"
"Um...no I was just... you know... I'm just kidding."
"Of course you are."
"You suck."
I smile, then walk away. Works every time.
Glad to read another dialogue-driven blog from you, Ethan. Your deflection driven approach might serve this boy some good, since the brutal honesty I insist on often only brings me hurt.
take care!
Posted by: kev | September 06, 2006 at 08:48 PM
The defection tactic is one of my favorites and you are very good at it. I bet your former trick is still thinking about his review and score. :-)
Posted by: Ian | September 07, 2006 at 02:24 PM
so its true:
you're really TOM CRUISE
writing a blog about your secret life that has been hidden so well from the public ...
which explains why you disappear for periods of time - so that you could bring your baby SURI into the world while staying away from the public eye
and to become a dad instead of a "daddy"
no wonder why you are so obsessed with making movies titled
"MISSION IMPOSSIBLE"
dont worry, your secret is safe with me ...^_^
Posted by: clark | September 07, 2006 at 02:30 PM
The only problem with that marvellous little trick is when you have a conversation with someone who is equally good at it... it ends up being not much of a conversation. Just lucky that most people are self-obsessed, hey?
Posted by: Arthur | September 07, 2006 at 03:59 PM
Keeping secrets from your friends is a really great way to build strong, long-lasting relationships!
Posted by: Toby | September 07, 2006 at 08:20 PM
thousands of hits? a possible thousand contributor here. Nah, but yea, deflection is better than defence or offence. Love your post again Ethan.
Posted by: Ash | September 08, 2006 at 01:12 PM
Secret blogs....? I dont know anyone with a secret blog.
Good to know you and I are in the same boat. When faced with difficult questions, deflect, defelect, deflect.
Posted by: Jesse | September 08, 2006 at 02:03 PM
A secret blog? Honestly, I think that's a misnomer. By its very definition, a blog, especially one as popular as yours, is open to anyone to read. So how can it then be a secret?
Still, I enjoyed reading it. Finally, something new from you. More, Ethan, we want more!
Posted by: Rick | September 09, 2006 at 02:48 PM
seems like, if he really wanted to know, he could have just googled you...
Posted by: wigetz | September 10, 2006 at 03:30 PM
Hrm, well, he was asking for it.
Posted by: Ryan | September 12, 2006 at 05:03 PM
How in the world would anyone have a secret blog?!
Posted by: Paul | September 13, 2006 at 01:39 AM