Stay Tuned

"Hi My Name is Ethan."

"Hi Ethan."

"It's been 148 days since my last post."

Yeah, sorry about that. I'm sure you're thinking, what the hell happened?

It's been a long five months, let's see if I can get you up to speed. In the movies they'd call this a music montage:

Fade in. Fast edits of me at a bar. Drinks, boys, smiles, dancing. Then the beginning of a dramatic score. I can feel someone burning a hole in the back of my head. I turn. Seth. Our eyes lock. This is the first time I see him since he found out I slept with his boyfriend, now ex. For a moment the music stops, nothing but silence and the sound of a heart beating. Bah-boom, bah-boom. If looks could kill. Cut. I'm at a different bar this time, walking through a maze of people, their faces one big blur. Just as I get to the other end, I see him, flirting with another boy. He looks at me. Cut. More encounters. All the same. No words spoken, plenty said. You see me in my bedroom, I'm texting Zach but get no answer. A quick shot of me on a date. Cute guy, nice restaurant. Then just as he signals the waiter to come over, you catch me sneaking a peek at my watch. Now I'm at my cubicle working hard. I bury myself in more and more projects. A couple of parties that end in good but entirely unmemorable sex. At the end always the same scenario: I wake up in the middle of the night, quickly get dressed. As I open the door on my way out, a thin ray of light pierces through the darkness. A quick flash of a man's face deep in sleep. He's handsome. I leave. More work, more dates, more sex. The pages of a calendar peel away as footage of my life runs underneath. April, May, June, July. I'm in front of the computer. Close up of the screen. It's blank. I shut down my laptop. Go to bed. As I turn off the lights, fade out.

I've tried writing. But nothing. As though two years of blogging have left me bone dry. And so I've spent the last few months rehydrating with Didion, White, Saramango, Spanbauer, A. S. Byatt, Eugenides (if my style seems different it's because I'm reading Middlesex right now. Fucking masterpiece).

Maybe it's just what the doctor ordered. A long summer break. Now it's time to write again. If this were a TV show, I'd be starting a new season just about now.

Announcer: Next Monday... On Shades Of Gray...

"You ever been in love?"

There are moments that can change a life...

"I don't know, something about him. He's different."

The episode that will have everyone talking...

"I think we should go on a formal date, you know, the All-American dinner and a movie..."

The real adventure is just beginning.
An all new S-O-G.
Monday at 9/8 Central.

There have been some interesting moments in the last few months. A stuffed animal given to me by Cameron on my visit to LA. Gray fuzzy little elephant with human eyes. Cameron who heard I don't do furry toys decided I needed someone to keep me company at night. One of the more romantic presents I've ever gotten. Also a midnight drive to the beach where under the moonlight Cameron proceeded to pull out his iPod, place the headphones in my ears then hit play to Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars. As we're lying on the cold sand on dark Los Angeles night, huddled under a blanket, a kiss, one line.

"Will you lie with me and just forget the world?"

Cameron is sure to have a recurring role this season.

Stay tuned.

Comments

[ChgoJeff]

I was so excited to see that you are back.... Don't worry people like that! Hope you enjoyed the summer! ;-)

[angy]

I get second comment! I'm so glad to see that you're back. Sounds like you had a pretty good summer.

[eric m.]

hot damn.... and I love that it involves my city, too. lol. good to see you coming back, tiger. -Eric

[Scott M.]

Like seasons, writers travel and change. The home that is your creative mind travels to exotic ports of knowledge, towering cities of stories, and deep ocean trenches filled with narratives. Yet no matter how far your mind wanders it always wanders back home. And sometimes your mind flies; no soars. Sometimes it walks, no runs. And sometimes it treads water; no swims. Then sometimes, in your minds travels you realize that you have flown and ran and swam so far that it will take weeks; no months to return. But you do. And you will again. And so you have returned with pencil to paper - key stroke to screen. Know that you were missed. Know that your passages are paths. Know your strength and own your talent. Welcome Home.

[Johnny Diaz]

He's back! Stop the presses! News at 11!
It's good to see your prose on display again. Don't make us wait another six months, March?, for another posting. I like the rat-tat-tat, bam-bam-bam writing style here here.

[Marianna Wheelan]

Thank goodness!
I just discovered your blog and have been reading it non-stop!
I'm eagerly awaiting the next edition of you life so I can live vicariously through you :)
xo (ps I like the new writing style!)

[GrantD]

... what can I say, but am I glad you're back. It's been a long winter without your words.

But Spring has come, and you've emerged.

[Ian]

Yay! He's back! How much I've missed reading your posts. Bliss. That's what I feel when I'm reading your blog. I just like reading it, not that I'm a wierdo or anything who doesn't have a life of his own and thrives on others. Though the beach thing with Cameron is so sweet. Hope to read more from you :)

[CLIFF]

SPRING HAS SPRUNG, THE GRASS HAS RIZ, WE WONDERS WHERE ETHAN IZ? GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK GUY, CLIFF.

[AA]

Welcome back. May the show begin. Again.

[robbie]

best of luck glad you're back.

[cerisaye]

Hey I'd almost- but not quite since I'm here- given up hoping to find an update. It's great to have you back!

Tom Spanbauer's "The Man who Fell in love with the Moon" is one of my favourite novels, absolutely stunning. Have you read "Native" by William Haywood Henderson?

http://www.squashduck.com/ltd/reviews/native.htm

[Dan]

Thank god you are back. I have loved reading your stories for both of those years. Your blog is a very big reason why I now have a blog to share my stories and experiences with the world. Thank you

Dan~

[Rey Rey]

Yay! Welcome back! I was in shock when I saw your link in Bloglines bolded!

[sandoval]

i missed ur material. i was hoping to meet you whilst i was in your city for an interview.

[Pete]

Nice to see you're back! Hope for some wonderful updates.

[jason]

So friggin' happy. Your writing was the the only bastion of creative blog content I loved reading as I sifted through my daily habit of snarky blog writers and pop culture enthusiasts. And then you were gone....for too long. I thought it was over. I thought I would never hear your voice again. And now it has returned. The voice is slightly different but my feelings remain the same. Butterflies in my stomach. Sweaty palms. Short, quick breaths. I love it and can't wait for the new season.

[Ron]

-boogies-
Glad you are back
Though I grew out of the blog phase myself your's is one I still try to keep up with

stay strong
ron

[maxi]

OMG ... i can't tell you how happy i am to see you're back ... how very wonderful ... and now ALL the news please! :-)
hugz,
max

[adam]

The Man is BACK!!!!!
my weekly routine of checking out this website this past few months finally paid off, i guess i remember the boomerangs entry word by word as i read it everytime i come visit the site, it helped this unexplained disappointment upon looking on the same web page over and over again, your writing is like coffee, my addictive guilty pleasure,as sad as may sound indeed this fall, i'm tuning in to S.O.G religiously. thanks Ethan for finally writing again, there is a god after all answering my prayer

[r*yan]

so, the news was true?

at first, i didn't believe it so i had to check it out for myself. and lo and behold, you're back... and about bloody time.

even the folks here downunder missed you.

[SavantGarde1982]

Finally! I've checked for updates almost daily, and what can I say, you put something back in me after I read your newest post.

You give me hope, so keep writing.

[Paul]

Finally you're back for the next season! A recurring character with a juicy plot this fall :)

[Chris]

Man, finally! I find a NYC blogger who is fun and knows how to tell a story! Yee haaa!

[joe]

great blog, glad your are back